He Thinks of Fruit When He Thinks of You
Your peaches and cream complexion
Magnetises his affection
With your strawberry blonde locks
You’re as sweet as cherry pie
Like a jet of mace
You hit him plum in the face
With your avocado eyes
And custard apple thighs
The fear of rejection makes him blue as a blueberry sky
He thinks of fruit when he thinks of you, but he can’t think why
You’re his damson in distress
Pawpaw you, say yes
Take this man go on a date
God knows the steaks are high
‘Cos you’re his tangerine dream
His darling clementine
His strawberry shortcake scene
And the apple of his eye
Only you can stop this fruity passion
From going pear-shaped and awry
He thinks of fruit when he thinks of you, but he can’t think why
He’s off his melon
You’ve driven him nuts
He’s gone bananas
His brain’s jammed shut
Lettuce pray that kumquat may
He’ll be raisin his game to an all-time high
No sour grapes from this gooseberry fool
He’s just sweet, corny and shy
No thyme to lose, he thinks
Then whispers with a sagely sigh
“I think of fruit when I think of her, but I can’t think why”
© Alfie Noakes 2025