Last of the Small Spenders
Hang on to your hard-earned
Keep hold of your cash
Don’t get burned
Don’t go on the splash
Watch over your wonga
Defend your royal mint
Have your lira linger longer
Life’s no fun when you’re skint
Allocate your allocation
It’s moolah you’ll be missing
In the stark realisation
Of no pot to piss in
Lolly up your livelihood
Get with it, take the hint
You know that change will do you good
Life’s no fun when you’re skint
Hold your folding, try withholding
Keep your lucre large
Shield your shekels, guard your greenbacks
Avoid the overcharge
Lines of credit and all that jive
Be fiscally sharp as flint
Credit cards will eat you alive
Life’s no fun when you’re skint
Bank your francs, save your schillings
Put your Euro in the bureau
Guard your guineas, pamper your pesos
A reformed shopaholic superhero
Yes, yes, you can’t take it with you
But you can lengthen your stint
Bite only what you can chew
Life’s no fun when you’re skint
Keep your eye on interest rates
Don’t let your balance crash
Don’t wager, waste or advocate
For gambling away your stash
It’s a mug’s game you’ll lose your shirt
Don’t rely on a horse’s sprint
You’ll be bruised, battered, beaten and hurt
Life’s no fun when you’re skint
To coin a phrase, don’t pay the piper
A fool and his money soon part
Inflation will only make you hyper
Don’t you fuckin start
More sense than money, I’m not being funny
Have you read the fine print?
Lock up your loot honey bunny
Life’s no fun when you’re skint
© Alfie Noakes 2025